Tame the Snacking Beast with the Healthy Fig Newton

Ah, snacks. The inevitable tripping stone. It's where things can begin to go perilously wrong. One bad snack and your day could go from eh to down right gluttonous, sending you into the far, dark reaches of your pantry frantically grabbing at anything resembling a chocolate morsel. Tomorrow you'll be better but right now this craving beast you've turned into wants only one thing and only one thing will do. Where are those effin' mallomars I bought for Johnny's birthday party four months ago, I know I didn't throw them out! 

We get it, we've all been there. It's not pretty and the feelings that bubble up in the aftermath (oh the shame) will have you swearing off anything relating to the "mallomar incident" From here on out, it's days filled with eggs, chicken, and a boatload of green, leafy vegs. 

The beast cannot be shipped off though, sent to Siberia to live out its days in sweltering heat and pindrop silence. No. That will only piss it off even more, giving it too much time to plot its revenge with sugar plums and peeps. It will get ugly if you cast it off as an unworthy opponent. The saying goes, keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer. Mmm hmm. Your best bet is to befriend, and tame the beast, but always know that it's a wild animal and can pounce at any time. (Remember Siegfried and Roy?)

So here is one of my many snacks that can tame your crave beast but here's the kicker, you have to make yourself. (Oh I know, I hear the moans already. "I have to make it myself?? That's not quick and 'on the go'!" C'mon people, have we not realized by now that one huge must-do in the battle to lose the bulge is that you have to actually make the food yourself? Cooking at home cuts down on the amount of processed crap that makes its way into your food. Less preservatives in your food means less preservatives in your fat cells! Period.)

And today's "Tough Love" segment was brought to you by Mallomars, the fat, pudgy, squishy treat that leaves you feeling... fat, pudgy and squishy. Feel like the food you eat!

Ok, product placement out of the way, healthy fig newton recipe up to bat.

Since I love learning new things, I'm gonna drop a little fig knowledge on you so you can really appreciate that scrumptious little fruit nugget. Figs are helpful in preventing constipation (because of their high fiber content), lowers cholesterol, prevents coronary heart disease, and hypertension, may help to correct sexual dysfunction (didn't see that one coming!), strengthens bones, and can help prevent macular degeneration. They contain many vitamins and nutrients, like vitamin A, vitamin B1, B2, calcium, iron, phosphorus, manganese, sodium, potassium, and chlorine. 

The main thing to take away from all that is that figs are high in both soluble and insoluble fiber, helping to keep blood sugar low, while supporting efficient digestion (helping you feel full). Now don't overdo it (you knew that was coming!), all things in moderation people :)

Now go and make these and tame the beast within.



10 dried figs
3 Tbs coconut oil
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 orange, juiced
1/4 cup rolled oats
1 Tbs chia seeds


Preheat oven to 350˚F. Line square baking pan with parchment paper.

In a food processor, place the figs, coconut oil, ginger and cinnamon and pulse until well combined. Add the orange juice and oats and pulse until the mixture comes together. Add in the chia seeds and pulse some more.

Spoon the mixture into the pan and spread evenly. Bake for 20 minutes. Remove from the oven and slice into small squares. Place on wire rack and let cool.

And there you have it. Bite into one and tell me that doesn't remind you of childhood.